She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
