i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
