You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
