He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
