He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
