Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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