We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
