i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
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everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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