i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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