Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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