How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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