You smell like stripper and shame
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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