Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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