paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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