Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
