My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
