Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How's work?
Spinning.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
