I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
