I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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