Dual....:-)
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
