Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
