sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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