Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
sex in a hospital.. check
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
