yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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