$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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