And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we're making bets on your personal life
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
