none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Text me some of your sweat
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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