i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
