Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize