sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
