DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
