I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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