I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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