I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
