2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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