I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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