4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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