With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
