I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
