Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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