you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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