I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
