i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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