I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
farters have to be the big spoon...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
