That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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