You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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