In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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