do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
