I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
