I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
