Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
