your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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