There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
