Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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