i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
