exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
