No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
