So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
