i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
