Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
