yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
