Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize