Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
