Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
