So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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