no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
