I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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