Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
tell me about the fingering
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